Introvert Challenge

This is the first summer that I am working from home.  School has been out for two and a half weeks.  My introverted self is suffering.  I love my daughter very much and love being able to spend more time with her.  But she wants to be with me ALL THE TIME.  The other day, I got up from the breakfast table.  She got up too.  I said, “I’m just going to the bathroom.”  She replied, “I’ll come too.”  I said, “I’d like to go to the bathroom by myself this time.”  She did not go back to the table.  I think I did manage to convince her not to follow me that time.  But this is my life now.  Everywhere I go, there is someone else there.

I used to get my alone time mostly in the evenings after she and Mom went to bed.  But she has adopted this teenager-like schedule pretty quickly since school got out.  She stays up past 10 most nights and then sleeps in in the morning.  I am not a morning person, so this should appeal to me, but with her up so late, I lose my quiet time.  I try to get her to bed on time.  I really do.  She just doesn’t fall asleep!

I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs type indicator quite a few times over the years and each time I am most definitely on the “I” end of the Introvert/Extrovert spectrum.  There is no doubt of my preference on that one.  Having studied the MBTI, I know that means that I get my energy from being alone.  And lately, I’ve been exhausted.  It dawned on me the other day that there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just never alone anymore.  I don’t get to re-charge enough.  I have decided that what I need to do is change my schedule so that I go to bed when she does, but wake up early.  It will be a challenge.  Both ends – going to bed and getting up.  But I know that is a healthier schedule in general and if it allows me some time to renew myself in the morning, that can only be helpful.

For now, I’m up at 11:30pm writing this.  I’m tired after a long day.  Tonight I don’t want to stay up late or get up early – I want to sleep for two days.  But I can’t do that either.  I don’t know if I’ll ever succeed at changing my schedule.  Maybe I should set a little easier goal:  going to the bathroom by myself.

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